Aaron Perry, the son of legendary Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry, unloaded on Stone Temple Pilots guitarist Dean DeLeo in recent Facebook posts in the wake of Dean’s estranged wife Jenn accusing him of abuse. The first one is no longer visible, so it’s unclear if he hid or deleted the post. The second post is still up, and was posted a couple of weeks ago. STP have a long history with Aerosmith, opening for them on many occasions, with Robert DeLeo even being Joe Perry’s bandmate in Hollywood Vampires for a couple of years.
My girl is a warrior. The strength and courage to come out publicly in a situation like this is impressive. Knowing how most of the world are star f*ckers and they will blame the victim but she still came forward. She’s a true champion. But once again, as I have said a million times, because he can play guitar (or like the people who can throw a football, make a movie, fight in a ring) people will make excuses for supporting a man like this. All that, on top of what she has gone through, she still came forward and is holding strong. Bullying back the bully.
And yeah, I’ve seen his temper first hand when he tried to fight me a week or so ago. I laughed in his face, stood right up to him and he cowered back in to his house because I’m not a child or a woman. I’ve read the texts and have heard the phone calls and voice mails and I have seen the pictures of the bruises. He’s a punk ass bully.
Perry also made a post on June 10th on Facebook, though he didn’t mention Dean DeLeo by name:
We really need to change the mentality/culture of telling people “you should have pressed charges back then” “that was a year ago and you didn’t say anything” “why did you stay so long” and so on? It’s offensive and heartless to assume you’d be so strong to just walk out when millions every day are trapped and scared to leave. Abusers do not change overnight. You don’t just wake up one day and are thrown against a wall. They often spend months or years breaking you down and taking away your identity, dignity and humanity. They often pray on people a lot weaker than they are that they can bully. They manipulate you constantly. They spend days and days doing nothing but belittling and making people fee less than and blaming you. Everything always starts great and slowly before you know it you’ve been in an abusive relationship for years. They apologize for their behavior and promise to change or it was a one time thing or it wasn’t that bad. They make it about you and how it’s your fault.
Then when you finally have had enough one day, we as a society scoff at you for staying so long. We say things like “I don’t know how you did it, I would have left years ago”. You have lawyers saying things like “I’m sorry but you really should have called the cops 8 months ago”. Forgetting that 8 months ago the police told you “yes we can take him away for the night but he’ll probably be back tomorrow and getting a restraining order will take time. Maybe it’s not as bad as you think”, so you go back and take the blows to protect your children. Time passes and things settle so when you finally do get the courage to take action the courts force you to stay because you legally can not take children away from a parent without “proof” and your “proof” is from “months ago” like that somehow matters.
You threaten divorce and are met with death threats, or worse. You’re financially a prisoner, you’re emotionally drained, you have nothing but a new strength and love for yourself and bruises and have to face a monster alone. You try to do the right thing and are threatened or worse at every turn. But one day you’ve had enough! You wake up stronger than every before. You face your fears head on no matter what. You’re a voice, a champion and a fighter. You take your life back despite all odds against you. You’re not alone.
The tides are changing. People are starting to see how hard it is living in the shadows and how hard it is to walk away from any type of abuse. We use to scoff at sexual abuse if it “happened years ago” and now we don’t. Now we need to start feeling the same way about physical and mental abuse as well. There should NEVER be a limitation mentality on the length of time someone has to come forward. Not everyone is as strong as you pretend to be in your hypothetical “I would leave” comments. Many people live decades with abuse and stay for fear of a worse outcome. People need to be compassionate at the struggles and strength it takes to talk away and not scoff at the length of time between episodes. It could be hours, weeks or years in between abuse and that should NEVER factor in to it. #LetThemFightBack #TimesUp #TidesChanging #NoLimits