Stone Temple Pilots Check Out Alice In Chains Sex Doll

1
24

The Baldy has posted the following on the Alice In Chains tour blog:

The word of the day is hyperbole.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, the definition of hyperbole is “an obvious and intentional exaggeration, or an extravagant statement or figure of speech not intended to be taken literally.”

Oftentimes you’ll read or see something where someone says, “The whole world is watching”.

And a lot of times that statement is uttered when a golfer sinks a 30 foot putt, or a senator votes no on a proposal to throw a parade for a heroic dog.

I’m guessing that that no one in the Democratic Republic of Congo gives a rat’s ass about the outcome of the Gonzaga/BYU game (although they should. Go Zags!). But that doesn’t stop the announcer from exclaiming that the whole world is watching these next two free throws.

My point being that hyperbole is everywhere, and it’s really an overused device.

Except for now.

The entire free world is caught up in Larry! fever, so I felt it was time for an update.

Two things have happened in the last week. One was that Larry! began making appearances backstage at festivals where multiple bands shared the bill with Alice In Chains, and secondly, Larry! made his first public appearance in Atlanta when he helped out at the merch booth.

It turns out that taking Larry! out from the backstage area into the public domain isn’t as easy as it might seem.

He’s big, he’s cumbersome, and surprisingly, he’s a bit fragile.

Most importantly, once he’s assembled, the safest way to carry Larry! from place to place is to wrap one arm around his torso and basically hold him from under the crotch with my other hand.

Imagine witnessing a grown man delicately carrying a mannequin by the bikini area from the merch table to the dressing room compound.

This is my job.

And I have no regrets.

All that being said, Larry! hit another high water mark Saturday in Maryland Heights Missouri.

The bill included Candlebox, Stone Temple Pilots, and Shinedown among others, and Larry! made his biggest impression to date.

Why?

Because I planted a seed in the minds of two friends when we were in New York a few days ago, and they went on a shopping spree.

And for about 14 hours in the dressing room compound of the Hollywood Casino Amphitheater, Larry! stood guard outside of Alice In Chains’ dressing room decked out in full New York City West Village sex gear.

Larry! garners plenty of attention on his own regardless of how we dress him, but this went so beyond the pale that no one could walk through that area without stopping, gawking, and being confused/bemused/amused or mildly revolted.

It was an absolute pleasure to watch the Stone Temple Pilot dudes checking him out, and the amount of people who took pictures hit an all-time high.

Best of all was a security person who did not seem to enjoy being stationed near Larry! at all.

Most importantly, the members of Alice In Chains were highly appreciative of the effort (and expense) that went into today’s costume.

I can take credit for the idea, but it took two imaginative and slightly warped minds to go on an X-rated shopping expedition that ended up making a mannequin look like a Rocky Horror Picture Show character.

It paid off handsomely, and although we may never scale the heights we reached outside of St. Louis as far as his wardrobe goes, I’ll endeavor to keep Larry! on display and at the forefront of the Alice In Chains touring juggernaut.

After all, the whole world is watching…

  • Olga Stewart

    There should have been an accompanying photo in this article.