Former Smashing Pumpkins and Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur recently talked about her past relationship with the band frontman Billy Corgan. She admitted that she misjudged her former bandmate during her time with the band.
On The Magnificent Others with Billy Corgan, Auf der Maur reflected on her mindset during her final period with the Smashing Pumpkins. She explained how trauma and distrust shaped her perspective at the time. She stated that she felt people in the music industry only valued her for what she could give them, not for her own well-being, which made her feel unsupported and unable to trust anyone.
“I think it’s because at that point — and we nailed it earlier — I didn’t trust anybody. I was traumatized,” she said. “I was traumatized by all of the things that happened. I didn’t trust you anymore. And I didn’t trust you.”
“I think in my mind, there was this feeling of, ‘They only want me for the value that I can offer them and their world. They don’t want me for what’s good for me,’” she continued. “I really felt like no one was looking out for me. I mean, if you see the world of the brutal, brutal music industry that it was, why should I trust anyone? I really felt like my value was only worth what it brought to you.”
Melissa Auf der Maur said that with time she now sees things differently regarding Billy Corgan and Courtney Love. She explained that she and Love are close again and that Love eventually forgave her for leaving the band, noting that Love was going through personal struggles at the time. Auf der Maur added that, despite everything, all of them ultimately cared deeply about their shared purpose in music.
She concluded by expressing gratitude for Corgan’s approach during her departure from the band.
