Chris Cornell’s Widow Reveals What Makes His Death ‘So Much More Painful’

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Vicky Cornell wrote the following on Facebook about her late husband Chris Cornell.

To my sweet love, you are missed so very much. Perhaps if you had not been the most amazing daddy always giving all your attention and love it would not be so excruciatingly hard.

You gave with all your heart and it makes the void so much more painful. We don’t know how to be without you. I’m trying though for you and for our beautiful children. We love you most!

Vicky Cornell posted the following earlier this month:

I met you on a starry Paris night at Hotel Plaza Athenee after we were called to arrange Audioslave’s under the radar after show party for the following night. I remember being introduced to you and how your eyes pierced through me.

You had the show the next day, and I did not attend. I met up with everyone at your after party, and when you realized I wasn’t at the show, you dryly asked, “Well, where were you… out having a sandwich?” A bunch of us sat, and I recall you ordering foie gras and me asking if you were sure you knew what you were ordering. You always had such elegant taste.

A friend asked who was the most beautiful girl at L’Avenue, and you got up in front of everyone, looked all around, came back, and you pointed at me. We talked that night until the sun came up, and it was time for you to leave for the next city. You called me the very next day, and 3 days, later we found ourselves together in London.

I remember how you ran in, fearful I had left because you were late from Zane Lowe’s show, and you were meeting me for tea time. At the time, I thought I needed to be careful and tried to distance my heart from falling in love with you… but you didn’t let that happen, and you zigzagged back and forth across the world to visit me. You were permanently jet-lagged because you couldn’t bear our time away from each other.

I finally came to visit you in New York on the 2003 Lollapalooza tour and threw your 39th birthday party. A few weeks later, I was on Mykonos, and you were still on Lollapalooza singing to me over the phone, “oh sweet Ms Vicky, won’t you come and marry me.”

I didn’t know what to think other than I loved you, and I was all in.

I flew to LA with my mom the day before my birthday in August. You gave me the most beautiful surprises from flowers, candles, and balloons everywhere to wrapped boxes of all shapes and sizes like it was Christmas. You made me feel like a princess.

You moved into the Beverly Hills Hotel because I was staying there. You woke up one morning doing flips on the bed. You asked me to come sit with you, and you said you had to take your necklace back. I thought, “No… why?” but you proceeded to cut it off and take the silver ring that was on it and said, “I woke up and I had the strangest vision of doing this. I’m not prepared with the real ring, but I want to marry you.” The ring fit perfectly, and while you surprised me with a Harry Winston several weeks later, I could not bear to take it off, and I used it as my wedding band. The two always represented how different you and I were but how perfectly we fit together.

I remember doing the civil wedding and how you cried. I had never met such a sensitive and special man.

We had our beautiful babies, and you were convinced we were soulmates, and that you had been looking for me. I’m so happy you found me. I’m so happy for the nearly 14 and a half years we spent together. We did everything together, literally, everything. You were my best friend, and when I wasn’t out on tour, we were on the phone at least 4 hours a day.

You were the best father, husband, and son-in-law to my parents. Your patience, empathy, and love always shone through.

You had always said I saved you. You wouldn’t be alive if it were not for me. My heart gleamed to see you happy living and motivated. Excited for life. Doing everything you can to give back. We had the time of our lives in the last decade, and I’m sorry my sweet love that I did not see what happened to you that night, I’m sorry you were alone, and I know that was NOT you my sweet Christopher. Your children know that too so you can Rest In Peace.

I am broken, but I will stand up for you, and I will take care of our beautiful babies. I will think of you every minute of every day, and I will fight for you. You were right when you said we are soulmates. It has been said that paths that have crossed will cross again, and I know that you will come find me, and I will be here waiting.

I love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone in the history of loving and more than anyone ever will.

ALWAYS AND FOREVER,
YOUR VICKY

  • Kay B

    Call me what you will, but why is she giving out all this personal info? This should be kept between her and Chris. I am sure he would want it that way. And again with the “most beautiful woman in the room, ” and “I saved you,” This is about her. RIP Chris: https://theprose.com/challenge/5582

    • Terry

      Vicky has every right to express her love for her husband and the father of their children on her Facebook pages. Millions of Facebook users do the same around the world every day. What I would like to know is why you feel she shouldn’t be able to share her love and grief? Chris has millions of fans who also love his wife and children and we are grieving for them. He shared his love for Vicky in songs for the whole world to hear. Should he, too, have kept his feelings private?

      • Kay B

        Sure she has the right. But it could be quite possible she said something to him in their last phone conversation that drove him to do what he did. Sure drugs may have played a part, but if she was so concerned for him why didn’t she call 911? She called a shady at best BG. (Just look at his background.) From what I have read divorce was in their future. He certainly didn’t look happy with her in recent footage.(See The Promise premier.) I find it interesting you didn’t see pictures of his first daughter very much at all. It’s all speculation, but if she is as crazy as her mom I wouldn’t put it past her.

        • Amathyst

          I don’t know what happened to the poor man to make him do what he did, I can tell you as someone that suffers with mental health problems that we have triggers, dark moods and that we put on a front so those around us don’t worry. I don’t know if Vicky triggered him to do it, I don’t know if something else did, I see there are people thinking it’s murder as well.

          I checked up on footage of Chris from last year and this, last year he looks perfectly fine, then when you get to the Anti-Inaugural ball gig he doesn’t seem himself, people even commented that he seemed drunk, I wonder if he was taking Ativan then, I know from experience that anti anxiety/depressants can cause slurring and such because they make you a little drowsy. It seems that whatever was happening in his life maybe started this year. I obviously don’t know, I’m just going off of his performances this year.

          In regards to Vicky posting things like this, I think it’s nice but I think people will read something into it and think she’s doing it out of guilt.

          Non of us know what happened on the night he died, only those who were involved do. The truth will come out one day.

          RIP Chris Cornell.

          • Kay B

            I agree. I don’t know who or what the triggers were. She could be an angel that really did save him. I just have a feeling she isn’t saying something, but to be honest she doesn’t have to. He just seemed not happy around her for the past couple of months. His last video was pretty graphic and included scenes of him in a noose. And his son was in it.(Not judging just saying.) I thought it was a decent video and I really like the song. But something (I would imagine) would also trigger him to make such a video. (It seems his lover in the video is also trying to get rid of him and/or give him away.) I take such drugs as well for depression and anxiety. I can tell you the first few rounds of the wrong drugs made me suicidal. But I can also tell you so did relationships when you aren’t in your right mind. I hope the truth does come out one day. Cheers.

          • Amathyst

            I was on prozac once which made me very agitated and short fused, I’ve been on lots of different types and pozac by far were the worst meds I’d been on. I don’t take any meds for my mental health problems now, I was advised to stop taking them in 2012 because they never worked for me. I’m just left to my own devices now days.

          • Kay B

            I am on prozac and I don’t really know if it does much to be honest. I started taking Lamictal and Wellburin and I became violent and suicidal. I am on some prescriptions for sleep and anxiety and I am probably very dependent on them. I am up for days without them. Taking no medication may be smart. I wish you well. I know it can be hard, and even harder with no medication that works.

          • Amathyst

            Ah, sorry to hear that 🙁 That’s the thing with meds that are meant to help us, there’s always some sort of side effects sadly.

            Thank you.

          • Cathy

            It started around the time he wrote Higher Truth. Just listen to those lyrics and you’ll know something was up. He was such a hot looking guy when he hooked up with V and then gradually his looks (and health) deteriorated. To this day, I don’t see what he saw in her. He doesn’t seem like the type to go for such a shallow – and let’s be honest – unattractive woman. The first wife makes sense but V??

          • Kay B

            I agree (except for me Chris was always hot…) however, he did get quite thin. And yes that album seems very telling to me. So does his last video. She looks like she could run in the Kentucky Derby. I may be totally wrong, she may be a fantastic person. Or maybe she WAS. She does seem shallow. I honestly think Eddie Vedder does not like her….and he seems like a smart guy.

          • Cathy

            As soon as he married V his looks started to change. In 10 years he aged a lot. He looked completely different from when he was in his early 40s. Depression can effect you physically too.

          • Kay B

            Yes it can I was 89 lbs at 5’6 during my worst yeas.

          • Kay B

            I thought the same regarding Blue Skies.

          • Cathy

            “Trigger” is the key word here. She triggered him that night. God knows what she said to him.

          • Lorenzo Takeout

            I get that she & the mother in law might be posting all of these things for the fans, but have felt there is something odd, if not slightly off putting about her need to mention that “You said I saved you.” and “you wouldn’t be alive if not for me.”
            The first thing I felt was that it could be possible that she said something that triggered him that night.
            Obviously we don’t know, and sadly the truth doesn’t always come out.
            Either way, he had to have been highly suicidal to have gone that far whether something was said to him or not.

          • Gabi Sermoneta

            I agree with you about the Anti inaugural ball. He did not sound or look like the usual Chris. He does sound and look a bit like in his last performance in Detroit and yet we know that there was nothing else in his system but Ativan . (so he was not drunk or stoned). I honestly believe that Ativan made him insane and brought him to take his own life. What a huge loss to such a stupid legal drug. RIP Chris

          • Lorenzo Takeout

            Wow, I ended up at this article again 9 days later & have to say that your comment is really fair & well said.
            It is difficult to read the texts in broken english with exclamation points at the end of every sentence.
            But even if we spent every day with him, you wouldn’t know what really happened, otherwise the people who were really around him would have more definitive conclusions.

      • Donna Gosdantian

        Vicky has the right to share her grief, that’s not the issue. Her shallow words do not talk about Chris, and how much and she loved him, as a person. It’s all about surperficial things, and about only about how much Chris loved her based her outward apearence. There is simply no heart, love, or genuine grief expressed by Vicky Cornell. Vicky, potrays her husband was some character in a fairy tale, not a real man.

    • Corndog

      I agree completely. Personally, I find this whole public online mourning to be really bizarre.

      • Kay B

        His mother-in-law also posted Mother’s day cards from him….just weird.

        • Corndog

          Yeah the whole thing is weird. She’s a real wingnut. someone needs to take her computer privileges away from her.

    • Monique Levasseur

      I think
      She’s trying to convince herself more than anything…..must be very hard to live with his death

      • Kay B

        It must be harder considering she was the last to talk to him. Something was not right in that last phone call.

  • Cathy

    Trust me, Vicky knows exactly what happened May 18. She probably said something to CC on the phone that set him off. He was already in a fragile state of mind and decided to end it right then and there after talking to her. That’s why she frantically called the body guard. And that’s why there’s no suicide note.

    • Kay B

      I think this is believable. For as much as he loved his wife and kids, I would think there would be a note. I, however do not know what happened or what was going through his mind. I hope he found solace and I hope his kids well.

      • Cathy

        I think at the very least he would have left a note for his kids if it was carefully planned. Only 30% (read that stat somewhere) of people who commit suicide leave notes. I have often heard about people who abruptly killed themselves in a fight or rage. A note would not be possible given the suddenness of it.

  • Lore

    Please, don’t criticize, we, don’t know nothing. Honours Chris memory, send love and light to him and his childrens. Let´s Chris Cornell rest in peace!

  • nomad

    I’ll be glad when the Cornell Justice Warriors move on. I was shocked and sad that Chris died, but I accept it and will continue to enjoy his music. His wife and mother-in-law’s public displays seem odd to me because Chris seemed fairly private, but what’s with all the suspicion? People are complicated, relationships are complicated and families are complicated. Don’t pretend to be an authority on his situation unless you knew any of these people personally. Otherwise, you’re just creating more nonsense.

    • Gabi Sermoneta

      Private? There is nothing that is left private of this man: so called “fans” have dissected his private life, his body, his dreams, his last words, his last moments, his fears , we now even know the state of his tonsils.. shameful that the autopsy was made public. What’s the purpose? Why do we need to know all this? RiP Chris

    • Alex Stevenson

      I have just posted a long message (with citations/links) but there’s no other (in brief) way to clarify certain key issues. Let me just specify that I only take into regard and with utmost respect officially confirmed facts and indisputable evidence. Until now, both official reports and facts refute all conspiracy theories comprising foul play. I refuse to consider asinine gossip and malicious rumours as credible sources, apparently. I have provided some links/sources but there are so many other credible sources (online and elsewhere) which may further and aid your research if you wish to do so.
      Regarding the social media display, I agree with you and I also I find them odd (I would say picturesque) albeit not suspicious; the mother-in-law is a bit of a drama-queen but not a criminal. No matter how quaint or ‘over-the-top’ these melodramatic display of emotions are, they are not equated to murderous or other criminal acts. I consider we must be careful in our handling of information and never resort to jumping to conclusions as that may hurt many people and their families involved. I consider that the conspiracy theorists are desperately trying to profit out of this brouhaha. There’s a youtuber who’s persistently popping his paypal account claiming that he knows the ‘truth’ about Cornell’s death. He solicits for money in all his videos and comment sections. Pathetic, low, and cheap.

      • Kay B

        That is seriously sad.

      • Donna Gosdantian

        I’ve been a fan of Chris Cornell’s music from the very beginnning.
        I’ve paid not one bit of attention to his private life,and who he was sleeping with or married to, until he died, and then came all of the obvious lies told by his wife Vicky, and the rantings of her mother, Toni. These ladies opened themselves up, for these sickening scammers like, NiklussiX. Most of us, care about what really happened to Chris, and have gone over the “official” documents such, as the autopsy report, and 911 recording, only to find the “truth” not to exploit anyone in Chris’ name. His wife, Vicky and MIL, has shit on Chris’ memory with their insane lies and self serving memorials. We are not conspiracy theorist, believing “fake” news stories, we’re quite the opposite, we only called BS on Vicky & Co’s obvious BS. I suspect you’re only backing these people and their lies up, for the same reasons the scammers are, cold hard cash. Unless, you’re completely brain dead?

  • Alex Stevenson

    Right. This is a long message, however, three key issues must be addressed and clarified. I have provided links/sources but, by all means, do your own research and provide critical assessment based on facts predominately and not conjecture alone (as certain lunatic conspiracy theorists persistently do).

    With regards to the further unfounded, inconclusive, and most often savagely nonsensical and irrational accusations hurled against the Cornell family, I have provided three responses which are the following:

    Response 1 (FBI): In response to rumours against the Cornells yet again, I have ‘scoured’ the web in order to trace even an iota of evidence or even the slightest reference that the FBI is investigating Vicky Cornell’s financial records but to no avail. Instead, I found the organization she and her husband had founded and also the official humanitarian institute where the accumulated proceeds go to. There is absolute and indisputable transparency concerning both high-profile organizations. The President/CEO of the IRC is David Miliband, former Foreign Secretary of the UK and the brother of the former UK Labour Party Leader and current UK Westminster MP. Edward Miliband. Nevertheless, I provide the links below so that you may also verify and investigate for yourselves:

    https://www.rescue.org/

    https://twitter.com/theIRC

    https://www.rescue.org/who-we-are

    https://www.rescue.org/david-miliband

    http://www.keeptalkinggreece.com/2017/04/10/us-rocker-chris-cornell-visits-refugee-camp-athens/

    http://thepromisetoact.org/chris-cornells-promise-refugees/

    https://www.ifonly.com/charity/26/the-chris-vicky-cornell-foundation

    http://chrisandvickycornellfoundation.org/

    Response 2 (Jessica Leigh Robbins of Tampa): Having read through the horrific accusations hurled so violently against the Cornell family following the demise of Chris Cornell, I have been considering if this convicted person-Jessica Leigh Robbins of Tampa-is acting in concert as well as aiding and abetting certain lunatic conspiracy theorists online and elsewhere. I have provided certain links involving the FBI continual surveillance and police arrest of Jessica Leigh Robbins of Tampa. This woman has been stalking, harassing, and continuously threatened to murder Vicky Cornell and her children multiple times for many years. She was
    recently arrested by the police for stalking Chris Cornell during his USA tours. Due to her proven track-record of acutely violent and abusive demeanour as well as FBI confirmed criminal record, I am considering, albeit tentatively, whether she is the one funding and/or prompting online vicious and visceral attacks against the Cornell family. Until now, I had been waiting to study the official reports surrounding Chris Cornell’s death; all legal, medical, forensic, police statements issued until now clearly state and without any infinitesimal shadow of a doubt that the death of Chris Cornell was caused by suicide. Nothing more, nothing less. Here are the links regarding the Cornell family stalker:

    http://www.tampabay.com/news/courts/criminal/tampa-woman-accused-of-stalking-soundgarden-rocker-cornell/2190408

    http://www.alternativenation.net/photos-of-chris-cornells-alleged-stalker-being-arrested-by-police/

    http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/fbi-arrests-woman-allegedly-stalking-soundgardens-chris-cornell-20140730

    http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/report-chris-cornells-alleged-stalker-sheds-ankle-monitor-is-wanted-by-fbi

    Response 3 (On ‘Broken Ribs’ and ‘Bald Spots’): Now, some conspiracy theorists are pointing to the ‘broken ribs’. This was caused by CPR (I have provided a link by a fully accredited medical journal which explains the possible detrimental effects of CPR on the rib cage as
    well as other bone fractures), otherwise, there would have clearly been an possible crime investigation/inquiry if it the aforesaid bone fractures were not postmortem. As for the ‘bald spot’ some folk keep referring to, it means nothing, the man was simply losing his hair as
    he was circa 53 years old. I have provided a link to a youtube video (circa 2012) where Chris Cornell sings with Chester from Linkin Park and you may see that ‘bald spot’. He had a receding hairline and his body revealed evidence of weight loss, aging/wrinkly/dried skin and
    muscle mass. This may occur for many reasons, the important simply being a middle-aged man with a confirmed history of intense and long-term drug and alcohol abuse. He was ‘ripped’ in his forties but his body revealed significant signs of ‘wear and tear’ in his late forties and
    thereafter. Here are the links to medical reports regarding CPR and the aforementioned youtube video:

    http://www.resuscitationjournal.com/article/S0300-9572(15)00113-6/fulltext

    http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0300957215001136

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15582769

    http://uk.reuters.com/article/us-cpr-often-leads-to-broken-ribs-idUKBRE8721IF20120803

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_v1SLIt01Q

    As this entire Cornell conspiracy debacle has become overwhelmingly ridiculous, I will only respond to those who actually have logical, medical, legal, scientific, scholarly evidence in order to prove their testimonials and/or assessments. To reiterate, unless there’s indisputable proof and confirmed evidence, I will not bother with you. I have already wasted too much of invaluable time with loser lunatic conspiracy psychos and that’s it. I will end, however, this lengthy message with the following caution: Be profoundly grateful that we live in a cosmos
    where science, technology, legal authorities, medical doctors, and police forces focus on the provision of indisputable evidence. Otherwise, it may be you and your family next time which will be under the insane attack of such loser lunatics. The way those emetic degenerates are abusing the Cornell family may equivalently abuse you and your loved ones. Appreciate the fact that logic still prevails-at least in most cases. Furthermore, ignore any typos this message may have. I have returned from work and I am a bit tired as all hard-working tax-paying citizens after a long day’s labour. Goodbye and Always Maintain the Soundness of Mind (Logic).

  • Cathy

    I really miss Chris. Just want answers. Been listening to a lot of his older and newer performances. Besides not looking good in 2017 he unfortunately wasn’t sounding good as evident in his performance at the Audioslave – Like a Stone (Live, Anti-Inaugural Ball 2017). This is painful to watch. Clearly something was up. Drunk, high, dunno…

    • Kay B

      I was thinking the same. Maybe 7 months from now we will know more. His bald spot (and it almost looked like bleeding) on his head at the Detroit show is very concerning to me. Also the coroners office where his autopsy was preformed has made mistakes in the past as far as cause of death. And from the research I have been doing from manual strangulation vs suicidal hanging, according to certain things on his report…..well you can figure out what I am saying. I am not claiming I for sure know, but things are not adding up to me.