Pearl Jam’s new album Orange Man has leaked, you can view the tracklisting below and listen at the bottom of the article.
1. Orange Man (That’s Him)
2. Better (Hair) Man (That’s Me)
3. Can’t Deny Me
The album also serves as a launchpad for Eddie Vedder’s announcement of a 2020 Presidential campaign exploratory committee seeking the Green party nomination. Sean Penn is Vedder’s running mate, and Anderson Cooper will serve as campaign manager. Penn said in a statement, “What’s good for Hollywood is good for America.” He added, “We’ll make America Venezuela again.” Vedder said, “I wanna fight to get it back again from the deplorables, yeaaaaaaaaah, yeeeeeeeeah, yeaaaaaah!”
Eddie Vedder has also announced $500,000 concerts for prominent foreign government officials, to be paid through the Vedder Foundation.
“Hillary and Bill told me it’s a great idea. They’ll have to go through the Ten Club lottery like everybody else. The money won’t have any influence on my decisions once I’m President. I promise!”
Vedder promised the American people a socialist country with “free everything, except for Pearl Jam tickets.”
In response, Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan has announced a Presidential campaign of his own for the Libertarian party nomination.
He tweeted, “Dopey Liddle Eddie is a totally overrated clown who has always put out low energy records with his failing band Pearl Jam. He has tiny hands folks, smaller than his low record sales. Sad!”
Corgan’s platform includes building a wall around former Smashing Pumpkins bassist D’arcy Wretzky’s home.
“Either that, or deport her.”
Corgan is also proposing a ‘temporary ban’ on Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Alice In Chains, Stone Temple Pilots, Radiohead, Tool, Nine Inch Nails, and Red Hot Chili Peppers ‘until we can figure out what the hell is going on with Smashing Pumpkins ticket sales.’
“The Pumpkins can finally corner the 90’s alternative rock touring market bigly. It’s gonna be yuuuuuuge!”
Alex Jones will serve as Corgan’s campaign manager, while WPC’s cats Angelface and Diamondbaby will be his running mates.
“I couldn’t pick one.”
“We’re considering an Angelface vs. Diamondbaby match to determine the Vice President in my NWA wrestling company, with James Iha serving as guest referee.”
Listen to Pearl Jam’s new song “Orange Man” below.
In reality, you can listen to Pearl Jam’s new song “Can’t Deny Me” and check out The Smashing Pumpkins on the Shiny and Oh So Bright tour this summer!