Taylor Momsen Reveals Emotional Chris Cornell Conversation Before Death: ‘My Heart Dropped’

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The Pretty Reckless singer Taylor Momsen has posted the following on Instagram about Chris Cornell:

A year ago today was a day I will never forget. I was sitting outside our dressing room in Indianapolis, when I heard someone say ‘Taylor?’ I looked up to see a man standing there, with the sun blazing behind him, he looked familiar…and then my heart dropped, because it was Chris Cornell.

I’d met him a couple times before in passing but here he was, actually talking to me. We spent about 20 minutes chatting about things like singing and their record ‘King Animal’ and how much I loved it. Later that night after we played our show opening for them, we were watching their set from behind the stage when he started talking into the mic, and my heart dropped again when I heard him say our band’s name…twice.

He dedicated ‘By Crooked Steps’ to us and we all were as happy as we could ever be. It was a magical. Kato was with us that night sharing the experience. We have lost so much this year and it has put our passion for music to the test, but as humans we are all built to handle this pain, it will make us stronger, and we will return, because the music will always live on.

I’m addicted to feeling, stealing love isn’t stealing
Can’t you see that I understand your mind?
I’m a walking believer, I’m a ghost and a healer
I’m the shape of the hole inside your heart
Not looking for a brighter side
Crooked steps will take me higher
I don’t care if you want to cry” -Chris Cornell

 

A year ago today was a day I will never forget. I was sitting outside our dressing room in Indianapolis, when I heard someone say “Taylor?” I looked up to see a man standing there, with the sun blazing behind him, he looked familiar…and then my heart dropped, because it was Chris Cornell. I’d met him a couple times before in passing but here he was, actually talking to me. We spent about 20 minutes chatting about things like singing and their record ‘King Animal’ and how much I loved it. Later that night after we played our show opening for them, we were watching their set from behind the stage when he started talking into the mic, and my heart dropped again when I heard him say our band’s name…twice. He dedicated ‘By Crooked Steps’ to us and we all were as happy as we could ever be. It was a magical. Kato was with us that night sharing the experience. We have lost so much this year and it has put our passion for music to the test, but as humans we are all built to handle this pain, it will make us stronger, and we will return, because the music will always live on. “I’m addicted to feeling, stealing love isn’t stealing Can’t you see that I understand your mind? I’m a walking believer, I’m a ghost and a healer I’m the shape of the hole inside your heart Not looking for a brighter side Crooked steps will take me higher I don’t care if you want to cry” -Chris Cornell

A post shared by Taylor Momsen (@taylormomsen) on

  • Olga Stewart

    Chris did mean a lot to Taylor as a musical influence.

    • makingconnections

      I like that she suggested that we are made to withstand this pain…it’s an idea that seldom comes up in our discussions. I agree with Taylor mostly; I don’t know if we’re stronger necessarily, but we’re more prepared the next time, and sadly there’s always a next time.

      I often think of the fact that so much that is considered unreasonable suffering is an experience that people have been coping with from the beginning of time. I remember thinking something like that when I had my first child…”C’mon, get over yourself, women have been doing this from the beginning of life on this planet!” The thought didn’t help much, but like grief you just have to keep moving through the experience (and curse often!)

      • Kay B

        I was watching a show on Aaron Hernandez the New England Pat that killed himself in prison. It wasn’t a big loss but the psychologist who was being interviewed said “When someone hangs them self, they want to die.” Aaron put soap on the floor so that he couldn’t get his grip if he changed his mind, and so it would be harder for the wardens to come in the room. I have always believed that if Chris didn’t want to die, he would have chosen a different way. I know hanging is also fairly painless compared to other ways. But he locked 2 doors, made this noose out of an exercise band……that takes some kind of planning. It might be minimal but it was some-what thought of.

        • makingconnections

          I was referring to the pain and suffering of loss–sometimes we get so isolated that we think it will never be over, or that if we stop grieving we’ll truly lose our loved one.

          The kind of suffering that one goes through with depression is beyond judging. I read once that depressed people are some of the bravest people that walk this earth and I believe it. I completely agree with your take on Chris’s loss. It fits with your poem, written weeks after his passing. I’d love to read it again now that we’re coming up to the anniversary of his death. It was a clear look at what happened and comforting at the same time.

          • Kay B

            Ugh. I have been trying to retrieve that poem. I went to the website and I can’t remember my damn password. I wasn’t smart and never saved it anywhere else. Now I have to crack the code some how….I’ll re-post if I do…

          • makingconnections

            Oh, I hope you can find it. It was important and obviously others felt that way as well.

          • Kay B

            It’s kind of silly we have to go to a different article to talk about another one. Either way that poem from Chris to his mom was adorable. I think I have found a way to retrieve my poem and I’ll post it somewhere on the 18th.

          • makingconnections

            Haha, it feels like we’re sneaking around, doesn’t it?!

            I loved that poem too…it was so dear and made me realize how being estranged from his family of origin may have put even more strain on his psyche. I wish when I said in the last article about the vigil, I hadn’t said he gave so much to his family, both his family of origin and the family with Vicky. I remember it being said that the first family were so full of grief because they lost Chris twice. I do think that his time in Seattle is relevant and real in his whole life story as well as the last 12 years or so.

          • makingconnections

            Oh, we could all benefit by reading your poem on the l8th!

          • makingconnections

            It doesn’t seem that I can get the Autopsy program on any of my channels here–even internet so far as I know. Would you let me know what they find? I’m saddened that the same questions are coming up a year later. I must admit that it seems weird that his body was cremated so quickly when there were questions. We’ll probably never know due to that fact. Oh well, maybe we’re not meant to. I know mistakes were made when my brother died and although I spent some time feeling such anger, in the end the fact is that my brother died. Injustice is involved in so many deaths.

          • Kay B

            it looks like the show won’t be aired this month anyway. I record the series so I will let you know what the doc has to say. I see the comments are closed with the last Vicky article. About conspiracy theories. I still don’t understand why the body guard gave him another pill after he had had one. Maybe Chris just decided to not speak up on propose to obtain a second dose. If the BG has his pills, I would think he was the one who gave him the first one. Maybe not. This will be interesting.

          • makingconnections

            Yes, I’m very interested to see what they have to say. My question if I had to pick one, is why give the phone to his wife without first checking it out.
            I have some knowledge of medication and the manic reactions to Ativan are extremely rare; however that doesn’t make an interesting story. The length of time he was taking the medication has changed throughout the year. At first it was a short period of time, now it’s longer. My suspicion is that Chris, like so many people of his age, have been familiar with Ativan since they were young. I think he and his doctor were trying to control the amount he was taking, but I don’t believe the amount would have sent him over the edge. He probably had some tolerance to it. Poor Chris, God knows what he went through trying to cope.

          • Olga Stewart

            I too would like to read your poem.

          • Kay B

            I’m going to try to post it on the 18th.

  • Betsy McGee

    This is sweet?

    Look at those lyrics.

    Translation: “I’m going to do what I need to do to get what I want to get, and make holes in your heart and I do not CARE if it hurts you… makes you cry….”

    I know he looked like the archetypical Jesus character, but he was anything BUT.

    Do people really not know who (or what) controls the music industry? As obvious as it is?

    • makingconnections

      Songwriters aren’t always writing from a personal viewpoint. Sometimes they’re imagining what it’s like to be a certain type of character; perhaps Chris was imagining what it was like to be a sociopath. Every dark novel every written doesn’t necessarily reflect the writer’s values. It’s called creativity.
      We’ll never know which of Chris Cornell’s songs reflected his true feelings–we can only guess.

      • Betsy McGee

        The LAST SONG that Cornell sang… the song that he was REQUIRED to sing last, at his last concert, and what he KNEW was his last song… what did he say?

        “EVERY WORD I SAID IS WHAT I MEAN…
        EVERY WORD I SAID IS WHAT I MEAN….”

        …then on to more of the same as above – I got mine, screw you, it’s all about ME and it always was, before more assertions that he MEANT everything he said to us.

        It’s not creativity. It’s the requirement to tell the world what you’ve agreed to in exchange for worldly fame and riches. Creativity is certainly involved in the process of the creation of the music, but there’s an underlying message that’s not really hard to decipher… unless you believe that people are permitted to rise to the level of INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTARS in an industry controlled by satanists, based simply on their good looks and talent?

        • Olga Stewart

          Excuse me but what does Taylor meeting Chris for the first time have to do with Satanists controlling the music industry?

          Did you even read the article?

          • Betsy McGee

            Yes, and the article ends with a few lines from “By Crooked Steps”. That’s what I commented on.

            Even the name of the song! BY CROOKED STEPS. Don’t you get it?

          • Olga Stewart

            No, Taylor’s IG post ended with the lyrics from the song that Chris dedicated to both her and her bandmates.

            But that still doesn’t answer the question of what your thoughts about those lyrics have to do with Taylor meeting Chris for the first time

          • Betsy McGee

            The post ends with:

            I’m addicted to feeling, stealing love isn’t stealing

            Can’t you see that I understand your mind?

            I’m a walking believer, I’m a ghost and a healer

            I’m the shape of the hole inside your heart

            Not looking for a brighter side

            Crooked steps will take me higher

            I don’t care if you want to cry

            Those are lyrics from Soundgarden’s “By Crooked Steps”. I don’t even know who this Taylor person is… I was commenting on the meaning of Cornell’s lyrics.

          • Olga Stewart

            You obviously haven’t understood the initial question that I asked you.

            So I’m not going to bother anymore, as It’s a waste of my time.

          • Betsy McGee

            YES time was wasted here. Definitely…

          • Olga Stewart

            By the way, these are also crooked steps: https://goo.gl/images/YLPaAS

        • makingconnections

          Yours is the strangest theory I’ve heard about Chris Cornell’s death and there have been many strange ones in the past year.

          • Betsy McGee

            It’s really not that strange at all… it’s ugly, and it’s sickening, but it’s not that strange, if you know who controls our “entertainment”…

            You know that Prince had to tell us, over and over again throughout his career that he would die on April 21st, right? “I Would Die 4 U”… 4 is of course the fourth month, and U is the 21st letter…

            Have you heard Cornell’s version of “Nothing Compares 2 U”?

          • Kay B

            Chris’ Nothing Compares 2 U is very good. Although I think you may be reading into the “I would Die 4 U” a little too much…..

          • Betsy McGee

            ON THE DAY of Prince’s death, a different version of Cornell singing NC2U was released…

            Cornell sang it most of the time with “7 hours, 15 days”, like Sinead O’Connor’s version.

            On April 21st, 2016, a version was released with Chris singing “7 hours, 16 days”…

            Now – take those 16 hours and multiply by 24 hours… 384

            Then add those 7 hours… you get 391

            That’s the exact number of days between April 21st, 2016 and May 17, 2017. Prince’s death and Cornell’s death.

            They’re all connected….

            If you’re not like the other fruitcakes in this thread that can’t bear to think that their precious “stars” have agreed to hideous terms to become rich and famous, you can find these versions of NC2U sung by Cornell on Youtube to this day, or I can send links.

            Prince’s version, with “7 hours and 13 days” denotes a very significant day for him as well…

          • Kay B

            Ok that’s great detective work. If it’s all linked that is fascinating. But I think that is coincidental. But it’s your right to believe it is all linked. Do you believe it was all fate? Prince also died in an elevator and in “Let’s Go Crazy” he sings “Are we gonna let the elevator bring us down, oh, no let’s go….” which is also fascinating, but coincidental.

          • Betsy McGee

            I think putting pieces of the information in places like this doesn’t do it justice… if people are still able to rationalize that it’s coincidence.

            Anyway, thanks for listening 😉

          • Kay B

            Well you gave us something to think about….

          • Betsy McGee

            I’m curious – what do you think of the END of “Let’s Go Crazy”?

            “Thrills, pills, and daffodils will kill….”

            A life of thrills, before a death via pills, during Springtime (daffodils).

            More coincidence?

          • Kay B

            Well if Prince took these drugs in that elevator in abundance to kill himself and commit suicide that may just be a tad more convincing. He may have wanted to end is life according to his own songs. But I really think it was accidental overdose.

          • Olga Stewart

            Don’t encourage her. :).

          • Kay B

            Ha! It is an interesting concept. Believable? Probably not but interesting.

          • Olga Stewart

            Interesting, yes.

            But Betsy beat it to death.

            That made it tiresome.

          • makingconnections

            Now Olga, don’t you realize that Kay loves weird shit? It makes her world go round…you can talk to her about Satanism one day and Einstein the next….she can go from strange to science in an instant!

          • Olga Stewart

            Must make a mental note of this. :).

            And thanks for letting me know.

          • Olga Stewart

            I wouldn’t bother, as this person just seems determined to be obtuse.

          • makingconnections

            Cosmic Olga…I was just thinking of deleting my replies…too ridiculous.

          • Olga Stewart

            Well you seen what it was like when I tried to ask her a question.

            So I imagine any other sort of conversation with her would yield the same difficulty.

          • makingconnections

            We all create our own reality. I don’t know why I responded in the first place.

          • Olga Stewart

            Yes, we do.

            And I know I also wasted my time trying to communicate with this particular person.

    • makingconnections

      …besides, your interpretation is yours and yours alone. That’s the wonderful thing about music but also wrong if someone thinks that they, and they alone, know the truth.

    • Olga Stewart

      Sometime lyrics don’t have to be literal.

      That’s one of the amazing things both about songwriting and music.

      • Willem Dafoe

        Betsy, it’s like everyone’s blind and think it’s a joke. It’s really like less than a percent of the population that understands what’s going on.

        There are many cryptic messages throughout stories, song and symbols.

        • Olga Stewart

          Not the actual actor, I’m guessing?

        • Betsy McGee

          I think part of the problem is celebrity worship. Celebrity obsession. It keeps people from seeing reality…

        • Olga Stewart

          Is it so wrong to want to just listen to a song without wanting to analyze it to death?

          Not everything in life has to be so serious.

          But if it Is, then I feel sorry for you.

      • makingconnections

        Olga, thank you for speaking up on the latest Vicky article. It feels so awful that she’s starting up with pleading her case again. She’s obsessed.

        • Olga Stewart

          Well I knew that the vigil was probably the calm before the storm.

          And it doesn’t surprise that she is pulling this stuff now.

          Anything to keep attention on herself is her motto.

          I’ve tried to not say bad things about her. But she really does make it impossible.

          As for that vigil?

          I get the feeling that it’s going to be a mess. Just like the funeral was.

          Lastly, you’re most welcome.

          • makingconnections

            I really thought she was going to be gracious and start moving forward; however, it looks more like this is going to be her supreme effort into the future.

  • Dave Wight

    She should be honored, a GOAT knew her name.

  • akemi

    god i still get a sick feeling every time i remember he’s really gone.