Eddie Vedder Reveals Bizarre Secret To Getting Laid


At the Innings Festival in Arizona earlier this month, famed Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder revealed the secret to getting laid during a funny and jokey speech.

Being able to play the ukulele.

During the set, Vedder gave an impromptu lesson on the unorthodox musical instrument along with why it’s a hit with the ladies, or whoever you happen to be into. Alternative Nation transcribed Vedder’s comments.

“Finger, right, couple strings. It’s not confusing and it’s not hard. You can be a recovering marijuana addict or a current marijuana addict. You just put your finger there and…(sings) Just one there and then move it down…. (plays) See, see that’s all you gotta do.”

“I suggest you get a fifty dollar ukulele, play, you could even be a real knucklehead, like a real misogynist prick knucklehead and if you can actually play that, you might actually get laid. Not that anyone should look to lay a misogynist. I’m sure that there’s none here but there’s actually enough people that statistically it’s probable that there’s [one] of you, at least.”

In other recent, Eddie Vedder news, the Pearl Jam frontman was interviewed at the Innings Festival last weekend by Ryan Dempster and Sean Casey, and he discussed Pearl Jam being forced to postpone a show in London last year, and how all of the medication he was on made him briefly fear he was playing his final show when the band finally got back onstage. Alternative Nation reporter Mike Mazzarone transcribed his comments.

“Sean, you see him up here and I gotta say he does so many good things for him community, the Miracle League Network, built this incredible ball field for kids with many challenges and it’s full all season. It’s a tremendous, tremendous thing and as big as he is, he’s just as warm.

The other thing, you know the interesting thing about Sean [Casey] is that he can tell you a story about a car accident or a funeral and he will be all like (impersonating Sean Casey): ‘So Ed! I went to this funeral, man and there’s my aunt Trixie! And She was fucking dead in the coffin! She was fucking dead! Dude, I went to put flowers on but then I had to shake her hand and all of a sudden her fucking hand came off! ‘

The crowd laughed. Vedder said it was just a made up story.

Dempster said, “Nothing like a good story, right?”